Machinism

::I'm now sitting in my room, in front of my computer - for the most part reassembling my MP3 collection. So far I've managed to find most of the music I lost in a tragic hard drive crash before I shipped for BCT. Some of the more obscure house tracks that I loved so much have eluded me, though, so I'll have to start from scratch.

I'm watching my roommate play Halo 2 and wondering where the past 6 months went.

More than a blur - a wrinkle in time, maybe. Of course, four of those were spent in the most intensive training I've ever been exposed to. Probably the most well spent of my life, really. What follows is a haze. My unit will stand up on Tuesday after the MLK weekend, and finally we will be a viable asset to the great US war machine. This has got me thinking about the time in between my graduation, and Tuesday, when the training will really begin. I feel despite the work I've done in this window, it's been less than par. Before basic training I would have been glad to be so productive, thrilled! But I've been called up - set to a new standard.

One that I asked for.

I've been drunk on the freedoms I took for granted, yet it's satisfying to be so easily amused. My pride cries out in pain at the idea, but basic human selfishness is simpler and dominant over the complex mind. I've learned about this in many different mediums. Church, PSI seminars(you may remember me talking about it), a few more. I've understood this more and more over the years but the silver bullet that I crave so much has not been found. I know and fear this.

This search has led me to the military. The Army. The Scouts. Perhaps eventually Special Forces and beyond - the US Intelligence community. I feel that this goal will shape me into the man I want to be. At least help.

Salude.
::

.:an blogged on 10:50 PM:.
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:: Christmas time is upon us. After a long flight from Austin to Pheonix, then Pheonix to San Diego, I am finally arrived. The flight was a wash of sleep, neck pain, Benadryl, and a double Jack-n-Coke. Ahhh.

When the wheels touched down in my home of San Diego, I woke up, and spent the next three seconds convincing myself I was finally back here. Good to be back. The last few weeks have been temultuous at best. I've been diagnosed with a hernia, no great fun there, and my leadership on base are just as confused as I am as to what we're supposed to be doing. A week here will do me well - I am sure. Not only to be home, but Christmas. I am and always will be a sucker for it. No matter how many complaints I hear about commercialism, bah-humbugism, or fruit cake, Christmas' got a hold on me.

Not to mention my best friend, Airman Wade, just got home as well. Cheers, mate.

There is a little bit of work to be done in the meantime:

-Gather up computer components to bring back to base
-Last minute(truly last minute here) gift buying
-Gather up more random shit for my room
-Get black out drunk at least once this week.(That double Jack-n-Coke? The only drink I've had since Thanksgiving. Yea, I'm not joking.)

Isn't the military great? I'm still getting paid, too.

::

.:an blogged on 3:59 PM:.
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::The beginning of a journey through the machine. All relavent details included.

Stand by.
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.:an blogged on 11:23 PM:.
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